Diamond in the rough.

sia.

I had to post this song. As my roommates Melissa, Rachel, and Brooke are into the whole Twilight craze, they introduced me to a song off the soundtrack of the newest movie, Eclipse.
Sia Fuller has been one of my favorite vocalists/songwriters for a long time, and she definitely proves her weight in gold with this record. It's beautiful.

I've only seen the first two Twilight movies, and couldn't stand them. Well the first one was bearable, but the second's script/story/acting was ridiculous - as in the worst kind of ridiculous. And a shame too, because I normally don't mind Chris Weitz' work. But what I can't understand is how the films get such great artists on their soundtracks; I mean their soundtracks are really pretty good. Am I really just "out-of-it" when it comes to a good story? Do these artists really all enjoy Twilight? Or are they simply using the brand to promote their names and fan base? Maybe I shouldn't knock it till I've read it, but I hope it's the latter.

quotes

"You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life."

“The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.” -Albert Camus

(pictures taken from the Sigur Ros music video for Glosoli)
Albert Camus is one of my favorite writers, so you'll probably see more quotes of his quotes.

GaGa for the september..

just a heads up. haha. i'm a helpless fan.

song: god and satan

When the see-saw snaps and splinters your hand don't come crying to me
I'll only see your good side
And believe it's a miracle

I Don't Know.

"...every thought pretends it matters so much." -Eckhart Tolle
"An unquestioned mind is the world of suffering. There's only one thought to question: the one appearing now." -Byron Katie

I've recently been reading some books and material by this Byron Katie woman, and find her "work" to be extremely fascinating. She talks about how the nature of the human mind, when left unquestioned, is to think that it understands everything already. She also says that quite often, the mind's summaries, judgments, and assumptions about the world, people, and things are false or misled.
Anyways, I've really come to appreciate the "don't know" state of mind. I've also fallen in love with questions and the amazing shifting power they can have on a person's perceptions and personal reality.
For example, I was exhausted at work today (or that was the thought in my head at least). "I'm exhausted." So I questioned the thought. Is it true? Can I absolutely know that it's exhaustion that I'm feeling? Who would I be without this thought? And the strangest thing happened. As soon as my mind let go of the thought: "I'm exhausted," I felt a giant increase in my energy. The thought would come back and I'd feel tired again. Then I'd question it, and my energy came back. It was pretty cool to notice.
There's a sweet freedom in not-knowing. Almost an innocence, like a baby. Babies' minds are empty, and they have an entire world to discover. Us older people just think we understand the world, because we've lived in it a few more years. There's always another way of looking at something. Always. With this realization, anything negative loses its power, or is almost dispelled as an illusion. I'm sad: Is it true? Could it be something else? Love maybe? Life becomes more a game of belief; when the negative is questioned, only positive remains. Whoever said ignorance was bliss might have been onto something. Or maybe I'm crazy, ha I honestly couldn't tell you.
"Questioning breaks open the stagnant, hardened shells of the present, opening up options to be explored." -Fran Peavey

Y-3

i probably wouldn't mind wearing anything by this brand. plus it's a pretty sick ad

night time pigout

SUNDAY NIGHT

(the new mocha ones are good)

MONDAY NIGHT

(except KingSize)

come 11:18PM, I need junk food. this habit should probably end. but when a gas station is a one minute walk from your apartment and you have supporting roommates. let's face it.. it won't.

album i like: /\/\/\Y/\

this is the music to which i get my freak on when i do housekeeping at the hibernation station. maya is great. her and her producers is great.
CLICK

The Past 3 Months..

NYC

First month of the summer, I had the genius idea to move to the ghettos of Chicago to sell security systems. Hated it more than anything. I got to meet lots of colorful people, was almost shot by a few, and I'm proud to say that I wasn't born to be a door-to-door salesman. Thank God. But on the upside (or.. Upper Eastside), I got to take a trip to my favorite place in the world. While there, I had the pleasure of reuniting with my good friend Chelsea from Pennsylvania; she's going to school at Marymount. And it was soooo good to see her. New York is the sh*t and I am moving there one day.

West Yellowstone

After I moved home from the windy city (which I do still love- the actual city part), my dear friend Melissa Fjeldsted called me and said, "Just come live in West Yellowstone with me for the summer!" So I did. And my life hasn't been the same since.

I'm working two jobs. I'm a host at a pretty delicious Pizzeria called Wild West. I also work front desk at a hotel called (no kidding) Hibernation Station. This is how i answer the phone, "Hibernation Station reservations, this is Ben. How may I help you?" It's great diction practice. I just have to keep reminding myself that I'm only here for the summer to release my claustrophobia. Once that's gone, I notice it's a pretty beautiful place. I mean people do travel the world to see it. Speaking of, I get to practice my Francais quite i bit here.. with all the traveling French. It's good. Life is good.

***

@ Our best friend Tiana's wedding.

This is Tiana at the reception. I love her more than I can put into words. So happy for her.

Oh.. and my brother Samuel is going on a mission to Rome, Italy! So excited for him. I'm going to have to start saving now, and learning Italian, so I can visit him. He departs Nov 10. Day after my birthday.

Summer Reading

Predicament. Over the course of the last month I've purchased six books. How many have I read? None of them. I have yet to discover why I do this. Maybe it's the fresh smell of crisp clean pages, sharply edged, and tattooed with stark new print. The musky strange scents of used books with their randomly abused pages. Why was this page marked? Who was Mendra Blanchard? Whoever she is/was, she had terrible handwriting. But maybe it has less to do with the physical ambiance and more to do with the abstract. The idea that each book contains a trove of perceptions, philosophies, and remnants of experience (imagined or fact) of the lives of others. A string of thoughts and imaginings pieced together and edited like the details of a spiderweb. Whether it's fiction or non, each book like a world of it's own; a peep into the reality of the writer (or protagonist for that matter). Hmm. That's it! I think I may just have a preference for the unknown -for the moment at least. The mystery and preconception of the unread Russian novel, or the New Age book explaining the meaning of life. It's the unsolved riddle that intrigues the most.
That has to be it. The reason why I haven't read any of my books yet. Either that or I'm just a spending whore with a loose pocket.

Alive

There is a certain cloud,

impregnated with a
thousand lightnings.
There is my body,
in it an ocean formed of its glory,
all the creation,
all the universes,
all the galaxies,
are lost in it. -Rumi

commencer

the beginning of something..